Terrible Twos

I initially started writing to mark the end of Day 2, because after two days the whole thing began to sound doable.  I love to create mathematical scenarios in my head, so when you think about it, I only have to do these last two days 49 more times.  Or I'm 4% of the way to being at the halfway mark.  Or, in its most simples form, I have 98 days left.

Yesterday morning I woke up after a dream that I made a peanut butter sandwich for breakfast.  True story.

Otherwise I haven't had any of my usual peanut butter cravings, but it's still early yet.  I'm guessing it will be really difficult to resist the siren call once I get home for Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving will also equal the break in my "paleo diet" if we can even call it that.  I had a few cheating moments, but the fact that I'm essentially just cutting out most processed foods and dairy from my life in my mind satisfies the restrictions of that regimen.  I fully intend to cheat on Thanksgiving anyway.  And what would the Christmas holidays be without all of the refined sweets we consume? I'm not too strict on such things.

I was catching up on my Wednesday night comedy shows tonight and enjoyed the dieting perspective of ABC's "The Middle."  Frankie's father, after losing 4 pounds, begins making the professions against the evils of gluten and sugars etc. etc. and only goes to show how annoying the people are who only talk about what and how much they eat.  Gosh, glad I don't know anyone like that ;)


Well, I'm actually on Day 4 now, which is twice as far as beforehand! I haven't really been good about the paleo restrictions, mostly because I've been meeting up with other people who have been kind enough to make me dinner or bring me a cake pop at work....so, in the spirit of Thanksgiving and in keeping with Southern manners, I politely (and quite happily) have accepted some non-paleo items.  But I've been doing pretty well (even ate asparagus and zucchini for lunch yesterday), so what's a small little slip here and there? I haven't backslidden on the peanut butter or chocolate milk yet, so I count it a success!!

The Hundred Days

History fact: The Hundred Days was Napoleon’s last stand for France, when he returned from exile and made a last-attempt effort at seizing control.

Current events fact: The next hundred days will be peanut butter’s last stand for my appetite, when it will attempt to seize control over everything I will eat in the future.

And like Napoleon, it will not succeed.

It’s my assumption that nobody in the world will ever end up reading this, so don’t be surprised if these posts become therapeutic self-pep-talking ramblings that bore you to death.  And don't be surprised when, like eighty percent of all women, ninety percent of what I say revolves around the topic of food. The next 100 days are about my road to self-discovery and happiness etc. etc., so that doesn't necessarily mean it will help you.  It also doesn't necessarily mean it won't.

I’ll start off at the beginning-ish.  I grew up on peanut butter sandwiches like every other kid in the world.  There was one in my lunchbox almost every day.  On the rare occasion my mother would integrate turkey sandwiches or Lunchables into the mix, but she knew these were instances that upset the natural balance of the world and made my days a bit more distressing.  Maybe that’s the reason why, in high school, I began wanting to eat peanut butter sandwiches for dinner and often would (especially on those nights when my parents were off at Band Booster meetings or when I came home late from a lacrosse game).  I can’t really blame my parents because it was my own doing.  Something within me was wired differently: I never tired of the sandwiches.  There was always a steady supply of dopamine positively rewarding their consumption, so consume them I did until I became consumed with them.  My mom was a choosy mom, so I always got JIF, but that doesn't mean I don't fondly remember the days of Peter Pan peanut butter at my grandparents' house, always served in hand with a delicious chocolate milkshake handspun by my grandfather.

Let me clarify: I don’t really enjoy peanut butter.  Reese’s are among my least favorite candies, I refuse to eat peanuts or peanut M&M’s….I abhor the idea of peanut butter with bananas or apples or peanut butter going into a milkshake.  No, I simply like a nicely made peanut butter sandwich with a glass of chocolate milk on the side.  No jelly.

I don’t really know how I made it through my first year of college on so few sandwiches.  Luckily the dining halls were pretty well stocked on chocolate frozen yogurt, and O Hill still knew how to incorporate great ingredients in their sandwich station (let’s get some applause for the turkey-gouda-croissant combo that killed my waistline).

This is a shelf my dear friend Lauren saved for me at the end of first year.  She held my more dangerous foods so that I wouldn't go crazy and eat everything in one fell swoop.  Yes, that's 5 boxes of Honey Nut Cheerios, a jar of JIF (I only eat the good peanut butter) and some cake mix.  There are also 2 boxes of chocolate Pop Tarts back there.  I know, really healthy.

Second year at UVA, though, started getting a little trickier as I became responsible for a lot more of my own meals.  And let’s face it, I didn’t have a great diet back then.  I’ve come a long way in life, mostly thanks to Adela and her Spanish cuisine.  I eat so many fruits, vegetables, and other dishes/items that I never used to touch with a ten-foot pole.  But while those other items may have been filling, even occasionally tasty, they were never satisfying.  Something was always lacking until I topped it off with either a peanut butter sandwich and chocolate milk, Honey Nut Cheerios, or chocolate ice cream.  Those were the food groups on my pyramid, the portions of my version of the MyPlate.  It was everything I needed for my diet….and none of it was balanced.

I’m happy to report that I’ve significantly improved on the HNC and ice cream intake – there are still the occasional cravings, but both have been largely removed from my diet.  Yet peanut butter sandwiches still persist.  I wish I could say I ate only 2 a day, but the truth is far more gruesome and shameful.  I know that there are worse addictions in the world, but you never know: pb might lead to harder stuff.  I have no control over how much I eat or when I eat it.  It rules my appetite like a ruthless dictator.  And then there’s the chocolate milk, the sugary worthless drink that must accompany the sandwiches at all times.  It’s time to give them BOTH up.

I’ve tried it before.  I made it through Lent this past year without either peanut butter OR chocolate.  But that was only 40 days.  And I still ate bread and other crappy food items.

Last week I started a paleo diet, where you essentially eat only vegetables, fruits, and meats before slowly reincorporating things like refined starches into your diet again.  I made it 8 days before I broke down and lunged for peanut butter, bread, and milk.

This time I’m determined to make a change.  I’m tired of the hysterical state of my stomach, mind, and soul when I invest so much yearning into a simple food.  I’m better than that.  It shouldn’t define me, right?  There are other foods to eat, right?

I know how hard it will be.  But I’m changing up the rules a bit…incentivizing it.

Let’s start with a paleo diet, 4 weeks.  Let’s return to the old days where we hunted and gathered our food…only it’s still better b/c it’s all nicely prepared and packaged for me :D  We’ll see how I handle that…then perhaps we can add a few things back into the diet.  It’s not about weight or exercise.  It's not even about dieting.  It’s about discipline, about getting my control back.

I’m not allowed to eat a peanut butter sandwich OR drink chocolate milk (or chocolate milkshakes) for 100 days, though.  That’s the equivalent of 2.5 Lents, 21 days longer than Kim Kardashian’s marriage.  As long as it took France to get rid of a dictator.

We’ll get to the incentives and the diet plans in the next few weeks.  But I just want nobody who is reading this to know that I mean business.  This is my 100 day war.  The War on Peanut Butter.  The last of the chocolate milkians.  A new era.

I originally made this blog years ago as a means of sharing with others what I was doing in Spain.  But I named it from Dr. Seus' work because I anticipated new eventual uses for it.  I wanted it to be used for anything under the sky.  Same goes for the comments.  If you want to call me out for being a fatty, please do :D  If you've ever had a craving, addiction, or passion for anything at all, feel free to share.  Or if you simply want to wish me luck as I probe into the concept of mind over matter, well, that's always appreciated too!